Bad Mommy

So - yesteray - as Max finished up his dinner of noodles and chicken nuggets - he was trying to get down from the table while balancing his milk in one hand and his lego toys in the other. I told him not to play with toys at the table - but he did any way. Next thing you know - there are noodles and milk all over my carpert once again. I am so tired - I was late picking him up from school again because of bad traffic. I just can't get my house clean, I can't get it all together! So - anyway - he spilled the milk, Mommy lost it. (I mean - I didn't LOSE it - but I got mad.). I sorta did some yelling, telling him to not spill - and that I just didn't want to see him right then. He started to go up the stairs - and BAM - it hit my heart - don't cry over spilled milk. Dang - I am a bad, bad mommy. So - I ran, grabbed some rags, and hurriedly said "Max - I need your help. Please come help me clean up this mess so it doesn't get worse." He ran in, took one of the rags and mimicked my 'cleaning' actions. He didn't really 'help' - but he tried. After that - we hugged, and I played 'tickle/kiss' - and played for a few minutes. But then we talked.

I told that little boy how much I loved him - with all my heart! And that no matter what - I ALWAYS love him. Even on days when I am late because of traffic, or if he spills and makes a mess. But that I needed some help around this house. So now - Max is going to start helping me. He is going to put his coat away (NOT the middle of the floor). He is going to clear his plate after dinner. He is going to put his toys away at the end of the day. He is going to try to not have any more accidents (bathroom...).

Mommy promised she would try to get home from work earlier, and try to play with him more. You know - it is hard to make it all work out.

It's funny - Christmas is in a week. I feel like it is already over. I'm so tired - I really don't have energy to get 'excited' about it anymore. It isn't a 'grinch' feeling or anything like that - it is just pure exhaustion. But Max needs his Christmas. He needs Mommy to be excited for Christmas. So, over the weekend, I am going to re-focus, re-vamp, and re-evaluate everything so I can start off fresh, ready to go for Christmas, and for the new year.

Oh yeah - updates: I'll post a picture of the door soon. It is VERY plain and boring looking.

AND - I just ordered my Christmas cards yesterday - they should be coming in soon. With my move and all - I have lost track of some addresses - and I would really like to send YOU one - so send me an email with your real address and I'll send you a real, live Christmas card! :)